Changes

Changes. It's funny to see how different personalities react to them. To some, it's exciting. A new adventure. Something to look forward to. This is me. For others, it's scary. It's nerve-wracking. Just the thought of it keeps them up for days. This my friends, is exactly how my sweet Drake Matthew reacts. Just. Like. His. Father. It's crazy. Same face. Same brain structure. So yes. I'm already taking applications for raising him through his teenage years...anyway. Back to the point.
We've been prepping Drake for Kindergarten since he started Pre-K 4. The first time. From day one- his response was ALWAYS- Nah. I don't want to go to Kindergarten. I'm going to stay with Mrs. Robinette for one more year. So we did. We stayed with her for one more year. Yet no one was surprised when at the end of year two, he stated that he would like just one more year. In fact, he told the entire class, "Don't worry if you're not ready for Kindergarten, you can stay with her one more year!" So thoughtful this kid.
Anyway, so we make it to one week before Kindergarten before the jitters kick in. He can't fall asleep. He gets whiny. Tears prick his eyes often. Just. Like. His. Father. The night before Kindergarten...forget about it. Sleep wasn't happening. Lots of pacing was though! He looked like a father waiting for his kid to get home from a night out. He's such an old soul. For this I love him.
But this kid. This kid woke up for his first day of school like a champ. Ready for his new adventure. He was facing it head on. Ready to conquer. And so I kissed him goodbye. Tightened his little backpack (that still is waaaayyyyy too big for his little frame) and sent him to school with Dad. He thinks this is pretty cool. I however....I do not.
I miss chatting with the teacher every morning- even if briefly. I miss checking out the classroom to see all of the fun projects that they are up to. I miss being in the know....Heck.  Let's not beat around the bush here. I miss just being with him. He's the creator of all things imaginative in our house. Trey is still not sure what to do without him. Lane walks around all day saying- Where's Bub? (well, it sounds much more like "wha Bub?" in her husky little voice). I answer- "he's at school!" and she says "huh?" and then we start all over again. But truly, we miss him. There's some days where I don't see him until he's headed to bed. This makes me sad. Then he tells me things like, "I don't have anyone to sit with at lunch"...then my heart breaks. Into a million pieces. And I think- forget it. I'll homeschool. I'll sit with him every day for lunch.... except we ALL know that I'm a much better mother to my kids when I get a break from them once in awhile (can I get an AMEN! ??). So, back to school he goes. However, I know my little boy. And I know how smart and fun and cute he is. And I know soon enough he'll have more friends than he'll know what to do with. This. This makes me hopeful.
So for now, I've had to let go and let God (well, and Matt) lead my little man every school morning. I'll let them do the heavy lifting for a little while. Heck, while they are at it, maybe they can do the homework too?? (who has ever heard of homework in Kindergarten??!!)