First Days

It's that time of year where all of the little people go back to school. We spend the week before school starts readying them for what to expect once that 8:15 bell rings on the first day. Things like going to bed early. Waking up early. Eating breakfast in a timely manner. Getting dressed in something other than unders. Doing homework, etc., etc. But what I forgot to do was prepare myself for what it would be like to have 3 1/2 HOURS to myself twice a week. That's right my friends. For the first time in SEVEN years, I have 3 1/2 HOURS DURING THE DAY TO MYSELF. I like to say it over and over again because it all feels like a dream... Back to the point. I didn't prep myself for what it would be like to do things alone again. Things that I totally took for granted pre-kids. You know, things like peeing. 

So what did I do on my first days alone you ask? I knew you'd ask. So here goes.

No. Actually, I didn't...but whatever. 

Day 1.
I cried. Not like, a lot. But I shed a few tears in the car. I mean, come on. Lane didn't even want to take the nano-second it takes to give me a hug goodbye! She was all like- "See ya later Mama! I've got better stuff to do than hang out with the likes of you!" Ugh. No worries, I quickly snapped out of it and reminded myself that I had things to do. ALONE! WOO HOO!! So, I drove straight to the salon. And got my hair done. For half of the price than I normally do. Did I have a coupon you ask? NO! I didn't have to pay a sitter! Nor did I feel one ounce of guilt as I sat there, letting the chemicals on my head do whatever they do, sipping on my French Vanilla latte (that was laced with crack obviously. I mean seriously- real cream?? Sa-good.) because no one was impatiently waiting for me at home. No one! Then, hmm. What was it that I did next? Oh yes. The grocery store. By myself!! I'm not even really sure that I bought much while I was there (because, let's face it, I get to go back in two days- by myself!), but I sure did take my time wandering those aisles aimlessly.

That, was day one.

Day 2.
No tears. She still left me VERY willingly, but to see the smile on her face as she sat down to paint made it all worth it. This is good for her. And for me! I drove straight to the carwash. Doesn't sound so exciting you say? Well. I'll fill you in on a little secret. Underneath those carseats that adorn my backseat is a plethora of little toys, crumbs, milk spills, gum, creatures and who knows what else. When little people accompany me to said carwash, I can't take them out of their carseats, because, well, they would run around like crazy people. So I have to keep them strapped in. Which means that the plethora of DISGUSTING-NESS that is underneath them never gets cleaned. Ever. So on Day 2, I  cleaned out my car, sans carseats. Then I went and had a coffee. By myself. I sat outside and enjoyed every last drop- while it was still hot. No re-heating necessary on this day my friends! In fact, I sat there the entire time and just watched the people and the cars. Not one single little person interrupted my thoughts for an entire 20 minutes. Life-changing I tell you! Next, I popped over to my favorite indulgence. Pure Barre. There I enjoyed 55 minutes of guilt-free mind-body connection. Today's class was a little different than the hundred classes I've taken before it. I truly concentrated on me and my body. I wasn't thinking about who was waiting for me at home or what was for dinner. Lastly, drumroll please.... I took a shower and ate lunch. Alone! This all probably sounds so mundane to a lot of you, but this is big people. Showers alone? Unheard of. Lane will wake from a dead sleep to shower with me. Even when I tell her no- she sneaks in anyway. True story- I got to shave both legs in one shot on this day. Hand to God. And then? I ate lunch without having to stop eating to get someone something and without having to share it with another person?? Ah-mazing.

Day 3.
Errands. Hundreds of them. No slowing down. No strapping and unstrapping carseats. No lolly-gaggers. No crying in the candy aisle. No cake pops necessary. Just non-stop, focused errand running. I suddenly remembered what it meant to quickly run into a store- emphasis on quickly. Pinch me!

So my friends, after a few outings on my own, I feel ready to tackle the year. I imagine that most of my Tuesday and Thursday mornings will go as above. I may sprinkle in some volunteer work and home improvement projects (because let's be honest- they are a continuous, vicious life-sucking cycle of to-do's), but all in all, I'm going to enjoy my time. Alone. Which in turn, will allow me to enjoy my family ten-fold =) 

P.S.
In case you were reading this blog to actually hear how the children are doing back at school, well then. I guess I'll throw ya a bone. Drake is doing great- as predicted. He's a natural leader and truly enjoys his teacher and classmates. He's really getting into sports now...soccer and running and flag football are at the top of his list currently. He's also asked to learn how to play the guitar...future girlfriends be warned. He will be a charmer. 
And we can't forget Trey. As reluctant as he was to go on his first day (see Instagram for his surly snapshot), he rallied like a rock star and is now a favorite in his class (the teachers don't say this to everyone right??). He loves learning and is an eager beaver when it comes to school now! This was an unexpected trait for him, but it's cool to watch him come out of his shell. The possibilities are endless! 



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The Importance of a Mommy (or Daddy)-Moment

This post is for the caretakers of the world. For the people that do most of the child-rearing. For the person in the house who is lucky to get a shower in before bedtime- or at least a shower that isn't interrupted by little people asking all sorts of questions about why your body doesn't look quite like theirs. I title this one: "The Importance of a Mommy-Moment". But it could be a Daddy-Moment. Either way. It could shed some light for some of you.
I only recently discovered how important these moments are for me. For my mental wellness. For my emotional stability as a human being. Granted, I used to judge those moms that seemed to run away from their families to indulge in a GNO* or a day at the spa. I thought, "How selfish!!?? Why wouldn't so-and-so WANT to be with their family ALL of the time?" But folks. I get it now. And I whole-heartedly apologize to those moms I so blindly judged.
As a (mostly) SAHM** there are days where I don't connect with another adult until dark. My days consist of who needs what and how fast. What can I throw their way to keep their little hands and big minds busy. Naps are few and far between. They are MUCH too busy for those. Once one mess is cleaned up, another occurs. Literally, I cleaned up THREE full sippy cups of milk yesterday. By the third, it was almost amusing. Almost. But there's no use in crying over spilled milk. (Although I'm not too ashamed to admit that it's pushed me over the edge a time or two.)
To the parents that get to go to work every day: There are days that I envy you. And I'm sure that there are days that you envy me. I'm sure that there are days where you'd love nothing more than to hang at home and snuggle on the couch while watching movies, playing games and baking cookies. But in reality, those kind of days are a rarity. Usually it goes something like this: Make the breakfast, clean up the breakfast. Get dressed. Wait- someone pooped. Clean up the poop. Oh- you're hungry again? No wait- milk? Ok. Here you go. Oh- you didn't want that cup? Huh? It's what time? Get your shoes on! We are late!! Get your butts in the car... You forgot what? Show and tell? Well pick something! We are LATE! Get in the car!! What? You have to pee? Haven't you done that 14 times already this morning? Ugh. Go pee. The door's locked? Who locked the bathroom door?? WE ARE LATE!! Get in the car. Lane. Pick a carseat. Any carseat will do. T! Let's go! What? Your shirt hurts your armpits?? It's fine. We. Have. To. Go.... Is that pee on your shorts? Where is your backpack?? .... You get the idea. My point was. When you go to work you get a few things. You get quiet car rides. You get to walk into a building without undo-ing carseats and carrying someone on your hip. You get to maybe sit at a desk or sip your coffee and think about nothing at all. Maybe you even get to close your office door and have a moment of just "being". You get to have a whole coherent thought without a little person interrupting that thought. You get to just worry about yourself. At home, I can lock myself in my room, but it won't change the fact that there are little people on the other side of that door who can't get through the day without my assistance. And please don't get me wrong- MOST days I LOVE that that's the case. I adore my children more than life. They are perfect little beings (Yes- perfect. Even if only in my eyes.) that I was blessed with.
I love that I have people that depend on me. I'm freaking Wonder Woman in their eyes. If that's not a confidence booster, I don't know what is. I can fix just about any toy (or maybe I try and fail...but by then they've forgotten about it). I can fill their bellies with yumminess and spoil them with love and Skittles. I can cuddle the grumpies out of just about anyone. I can fix boo-boo's (or at least hide them). But at the end of it all.... I just need a freaking minute. And I don't think that's asking too much. Whether it's Barre class or a coffee with another mom who goes through the same or let's be honest, a beer to make my mind feel just fuzzy enough that I forget about my responsibilities for a minute, I don't think that I'm being selfish or insensitive. I think that if I went to a 9 to 5 job, I would get a lunch break and like a 15 minute recess or something. So I think that I should be granted the same at home. Right? Right.
Now. When I walk out the door to take these moments, I'm usually leaving crying children and a husband that looks less than thrilled about the fact that I'm leaving. This causes major mommy/wife guilt. So I usually spend the car ride to wherever I'm going trying to decide whether or not I should just turn the car around. They all need me! What will they do while I'm gone? What if I'm causing permanent damage to their psyche? Then I hit a stop light. Take a deep breath. And remember that the world will not stop turning because I'm taking some much needed me time. I'm reminded what a dear friend once said- your kids are only truly happy when mommy is happy. If mommy is stressed, tired, worn out, beat down...the kiddos will pick up on that. Then our pulled-too-tight-as-it-is-patience wears thin and we all know what happens then. We as moms, can only put our best foot forward when we take care of ourselves. So, it's only fair to everyone that we do so.
I urge all of you- moms and dads alike- take moments for yourself. Let the naysayers and non-parents judge away. They have NO idea what it's like to be in your shoes. Until you are a parent, you have NO IDEA what it's like to be needed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There is nothing comparable. Show me a job with such an importance as RAISING HUMAN BEINGS and I'll give you 10 reasons why it's harder to be a parent. So with that being said. Go to the gym. Take that class you've been eyeing. Hide away at the beach with a book. Grab a beer with a friend. The world will not stop spinning because you take a minute to just be you. And guess what? The kids will be just fine. In fact, they'll be better than fine. Because with a happy you- they are at their happiest too.

XOXO-



*Girl's Night Out ;)
**Stay at Home Mom